Thursday, October 25, 2007

Forgive and Forget

It is sad that there are those who are willing to spend their life harbouring ill feeling and waiting to seek revenge at any moments. Actually, it costs more to avenge an injury than to forgive. The best way to get even is to forget.

That could be why Confucius says, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”

“Revenge... is like a rolling stone, which, when a man hath forced up a hill, will return upon him with a greater violence, and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.” - Albert Schweitzer

"Lack of forgiveness is holding on to a burning coal despite the hurt in the hopes that it is burning and hurting someone else." - Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves” - Joshua Loth Liebman

"Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself."- Harriet Nelson

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." - Henry Ward Beecher

Forgiving saves the high cost of anger and the higher cost of hating. It is good to forgive; best to forget. In your daily living, you have enough baggage to carry. So why carry the wrong doing of others. Make very sure you stop dwelling on it. Do not hold on to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.

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Jennifer said...

Hi Sam,

Very nice!

I think truly forgiving is one of the most difficult of human abilities!

It is as if our mind REALLY wants to hold onto some memories, perhaps it is a way we developed to protect ourselves which has become maladaptive to some degree.

Anyway, I agree with you... we have enough baggage as it is, the more we release ill feelings the more free we are, the more peace we have!

Thanks for this Sam!


WaterLearner said...

Hi Sam!!

Indeed the process of forgiving benefits the forgiver the most!

Thanks for the quotes! I especially like the one by Confucius.

Have a Blessed Weekend, Sam!

mr fong said...

Hi Sam, gave u award, just go see ok :D

surjit said...

Excellent quote:
�Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.."
I agree with you Sam that ...'Do not hold on to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love..'
A wonderful post. Thanks for sharing.
God bless.

Titania Starlight said...

Hi Sam, I think the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. And of course we tend to hold on the the memory of when others hurt us.

My first husband holds fast to his anger and pain of our divorce after ten years. I have forgiven him many years ago and we still talk bu t he lives a very lonely and sad existence. He clings to his own negativity. But then again that is one of the things that drove us apart. Negativity and control. His low self-esteem put a rift between us and with many other things our marriage failed.

As his friend now, I try to encourage him to live life and to try new things, even make friends and see other people. His motto is life sucks then you die. It is very sad. He has clung to the past and refuses to heal. I do feel sad that he has chosen this for himself. I truly would like to see him happy.

Not forgiving and forgetting is a slow suicide of the self. :o(

Wonderful post that makes us all step back and think. :o)

FL Sam said...


Another very enlightening post.

To live our lives in “apology” and in “forgiveness” is far better than mere words which we may or may not in reality truly mean.
There can be no true healing without forgiveness of ourselves and of others. We can say that healing is the fruit of our practice of forgiveness.

Have a nice weekend. :)

Sam Chan said...

Hi Jennifer,

I agree with you that truly forgiving is not easy!

Forgiving can really helps to mend relationship. That's how great family can remain strong!

Let's learn to forgive and forget. Then there will be happiness and love wherever we go!

Love and Peace to you, Jennifer.

Sam Chan said...

Hi Karen,

Thanks for sharing your valuable thoughts. Indeed the forgiver benefit most in the process of forgiving!

Hatred, Anger and Avenge feeling are indeed heavy burden for the soul.

Blessings to you, Karen

Sam Chan said...

Hi Winston,

Thanks for the award!! You are really very kind and gave me a lot of encouragement to move on. I will go and check it out after this.

Best Wishes

Sam Chan said...

Hi Surjit,

Thanks for your continuous support.

Truly faithful and obedience followers of God should have no problem in forgiving anybody of any wrong doings.

God Bless

Sam Chan said...

Hi Tawnya,

Thanks for sharing your Personal Experience and Wisdom.

You are right! The hardest person to forgive is ourselves. Till we had learned to forgive ourselves, we might not know how to forgive others!

Nice quote.. "Not forgiving and forgetting is a slow suicide of the self"

Blessings to you, Tawnya!

Sam Chan said...

Hi Sam,

Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom.

I love the way you put it...
"No true healing without forgiveness of ourselves and of others and Healing is the fruit of our practice of forgiveness."

Blessings to you, Sam

Dr. T said...

"Vengeance is mine, says the Lord." "Judge not, lest you be judged." "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

And, from Heraclitus: "To man some things are just, some unjust, but to God all things are good and just and beautiful."

Sam Chan said...

Hi Dr. T,

Thank you very much for sharing your words of wisdom from the bible.

Indeed, everybody must learn to be merciful to obtain mercy.

Many Blessings

haze said...

but how about to people who really betrays you and hurt you in the past?

I haven't spoken to a friend since we had an arguments 6 yrs ago. She tried to befriend with me again but can't forgive what she did.

Huh? Hard thing to say really, I am just a human after all.

However you are quite right, we should forgive and forget. But doesn't it takes time to heal the wounded heart?

I hope next year I will be ready to talk and perhaps reconcile, who knows! Yupp it really brings hardship into my heart knowing that there is someone I haven't given a chance. I am just afraid to be hurt and betrays again.

Sam Chan said...

Hi Haze,

May the Lord grant you all the strength to forgive and forget whoever that had hurt you. Although, it is kind of difficult, I strongly believe it will be more beneficial to the forgiver!

May you and your friend be reconciled so that you can enjoy the lovely presence of your friend.


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