Saturday, October 06, 2007

Be careful how you say things

"Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair."

The way you communicate with others is very important because that's the beginning of relationships building.

If you do not know how to speak, you should remain silent.

Email is also another form of communication. Don't let the speed and ease of sending email blind you to the fact that you will be judged on what you say and how you say it.

"Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another." - Napoleon Hill

Take a look at this story:
It was Alice's second anniversary, and her husband sent her flowers at the office. When he placed the order he told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card.

Alice was delighted when the florist arrived, but her joy was heavily clouded by the note on the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."

"Sharp dagger only wounds the flesh, but a sharp tongue can wound the spirit."

Good communication skills can be learned. They are at the heart of interpersonal skills and the greater your awareness of how it all works, the more effective your communication will be.

We should always think before we speak or write because choices of words can make a lot of difference.

Photo 1 by Birta Rán taken from this source
Photo 2 by MoonSoleil taken from this source

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J@n!ce said...

Sam, sorry to hear that you are facing some unhappiness over someone's comment earlier. I know you are affected by it. I hope you are coping it better now. Thanks for telling me about it. I came over to tell you that you have my support in your blog. You are a good writer & all your thoughts always put sense into me. :):)

Rest well this weekend :)

Janice Ng

WaterLearner said...

Hey Sam!

It is indeed very important to "filter" what we wish to say before we actually say it. I shared the same view and that was the reason why I initiated the Say No Evil Bootcamp.

Regardless of religion and creed, whatever form of God we believe in: All stress the importance of guarding our words, which can be so powerful a weapon in killing the morale in a person. The truly wise says things that brings goodness to himself and to others.

Our good Sam's intention of putting up wise sayings in his good blog is not to boast himself to be the wise and enlightened one. Those who share the same passion in the search of spiritual wealth in life will understand why he puts so much effort in putting up such inspiring posts in his blog. And I truly believe it is the friendship and connection of such people that Sam enjoys.

Alas! We can't dictate that all who cross our paths share the same intentions and aspirations. Some call such events a test of our inner strength. For it is easy to stand tall in the midst of cheers and applause. But the true learner learns to stand up after a slight struggle in the midst of jeers and sarcasm.

I am here today to congratulate this good learner for standing up once again. Be thankful of this fall. For you know not that this has made you to be a stronger man.


mr fong said...

Indeed, sometimes when we speak we can unintentionally hurt. Even the most minor thing can sting, so we must think before every word.

Hope you are better now, seeing you are back with this great posts ;p


WaterLearner said...

Hey Sam!

I just realized that I am not in your blogroll. Can "squeeze" me in? It will be an honour to me to be in it.

:-) Karen

Sam Chan said...

Thanks Janice!
I really appreciate your continued support. I am doing fine now.

Indeed, the most rewarding of blogging is to have a group of faithful readers and supporter like you.

Blessings to you my dear friend

Sam Chan said...

Karen, you really had given me great encouragement. I really got to thank you for understanding my feeling and thoughts. Thanks for being a wonderful friend and great supporter for this blog.

Blessings to you my dear friend.

Sam Chan said...

Hi Winston,

Thanks for your valuable thoughts and encouragement.

Your signature or link at the end of your comment finally works!

Blessings to you Winston.

Sam Chan said...

Hi Karen,

No problem! It is my pleasure to put your blog link to my blogroll.

Best Wishes

surjit said...

Hi Sam,
On reading Janice's comments, I gather that somebody wrote some 'untoward' comments on your blog/post. It has happened so many times with me too.But I just thanked them for expressing their views and I am keeping myself compose..
I agree with you '...that choices of words can make a lot of difference...'
"By the words thou shall be condemned." (New Testament)
Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom.Good luck.

mr fong said...

I suppose that when you write a blog that talks about wisdom and the meaning of life,there will be doubters or people who do not agree, but you must stay confident! Your blog is fantastic, I said so 10000000000 times already ;p

Don't worry, I'm behind you!

Titania Starlight said...

Hi Sam,
I apologize for not visitng lately. I have been on holiday with my husband and my mother is visiting.

It is so true that when it comes to communication we must weigh our words and even then we must be empathic to their reaction.

I confess that I am at time too empathic. I feel deeply and may over analyze a situation. But gain maybe we need more empathy in the world. :o)

Blessings to you and looking forward to visiting regularly soon.

ChristineHaze said...

Yes I have the proble of opening my mouth without even thinking that it may end the friendship.

I have a friend who is very sensitive and all she cares is her own feelings which I fin very hard to handle so we always have a big blow up. Last year she was not talking to me for a over a year and I dont have any idea what wrong have I done. Recently she is not speaking again for the 2nd time. Still haven't heard from her and not sure what to do since she is not answering calls and txt messages. The hard thing is she don't discuss things and I should learnt the lesson from last year.

The thing is I am honest and I thought its better but it clearly isn't, lol.

Thanks for this great entries Sam. I will better stay silent next time.

Jennifer said...

Ohhh Sam,

I missed what was happening... I'm so sorry to hear there has been unkindness directed your way.

You are a light and inspiration, and bring so much goodness to this world!

I think those who leave nasty comments are those whose lives are less than what we would consider healthy, the lashing out, nastiness, and mean spiritedness is a reflection of what is going on inside themselves.

Just know that you are loved and appreciated by so many people who cherish you and are inspired and uplifted by your amazing site!

Blessings, love, and big hugs,


Sam Chan said...

Hi Surjit,

Thanks for sharing your experience and insight how you handle 'untoward' comments.

Well, I also thanked this 'anonymous' commentator. However, his/her choice of words really affected my enthusiasm in certain way although I tried to remain calm. You can read the anonymous comments from here.

Best Wishes

Sam Chan said...

Hi Winston,

Thanks for your words of encouragement. Your continued support is really appreciated.

With Winston, I have no worry or fear :-)

My Best Wishes

Sam Chan said...

Hi Tawnya,

You don't have to apologize for not visiting lately. I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your husband and good time with your mum.

FYI, my enthusiasm in blogging was affected by an 'anonymous' commentator posted

That was one of the reasons why I had stopped blogging for almost a week. Anyway, I am fine now.

Blessings to you Tawnya

Sam Chan said...

Hi Haze,

Communication skills can be learned and it is better to remain silent at times. Acknowledging your problem and finding ways to overcome it are steps toward a better interpersonal skill.

I hope your friendship with your sensitive friend can be restored eventually.

My Best Wishes

Sam Chan said...

Hi Jennifer,

Thanks for your words of encouragement. Indeed, the comments posted by an anonymous commentators affected my enthusiasm of blogging recently.

You can read his/her comments from here.

Well, I had stopped blogging almost a week because of that. Do you still remember my comment at your blog telling you that I was busy traveling for my work assignment? I don't feel like blogging even after I had returned from the journey because I was kind of depressed and lack strength to continue. Anyway, I am fine after seeking quotes to come out from that non-resourceful state.

Blessings and Joy to you my dear friend

Jennifer said...

Ohh Sam,

I'm so sorry you had to experience this sort of thing.

Your blog is one of the very best on the net... truly fabulous!

I always find it strange when someone making a difference in the world, trying to live a good life, and doing their best to improve their own corner of the world is criticized.

Let me just say... you handled this situation so honorably! Your respectful and kind responses are a reflection of your care and integrity!

I'm glad you are back... :-) Your readers love and appreciate you so very much! You are a great example to us all Sam!

Love and hugs,


Sam Chan said...


I am really touched by your words of encouragement. It really means a lots. I am so honored and thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Love and hugs

Anonymous said...

So word has power, I must learn how to speak so that i won't question on what say.

Anonymous said...

So word has power, I must learn how to speak so that i won't question on what say.

Anonymous said...

So word has power, I must learn how to speak so that i won't be question on what say.